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this journal is a dead sun.   
08:00pm 10/10/2008
  i'll be putting anything i have to say here from now on:
http://jackofshapes.blogspot.com/ or http://jackofspaces.blogspot.com/

apologies for what must be profound disappointment.
feel free to stay in orbit here, and enjoy the new advertisements.		  
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02:28am 22/08/2008
  she waits for an answer
but is too young to hear
the question is softer		  
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02:07am 22/08/2008
  the filthy crumpled five dollar bill tucked against a concrete curb
is a castaway looking out over a great tumultuous sea of desire		  
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03:28am 30/07/2008
  Water hits the earth with explosive drumbeat.
The wind picks up; trees murmur and wind howls.
But something in this gale is motionless.		  
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04:09am 26/06/2008
  i live under the crushing weight of my own malignancy  
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05:45pm 19/06/2008
  Close is not love though we often confuse the two
Christ made communion a loaded gun and sex is a loaded gun between two		  
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05:19pm 19/06/2008
  I have never been
Prettier than I am now
Old faces are dead

I have never been
More ugly than I am now
Newborn babies clutch		  
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03:16am 11/06/2008
  Grief piles on us like a laden raincoat

The blank stare looks back unbelievingly. Long looks - looks twice. All grace has fled, just a girl now, dressed in satin robes, a haze of subterfuge, evasion and guilt-ridden rain.

I will hit the ground running, and push past anger. Whatever cult you enter I promise to praise your inception. Grief piles on us as anger-laden raincoats. Sorrow is a dammed river.		  
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08:56pm 30/05/2008
  The mountain shining
Brilliant white on white sky
The blue hid that day		  
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11:37pm 29/04/2008
  eat my face lick my no flow? really? no flow of ideas? have we become that afraid and castrated and lackluster in our ideas? perhaps we have or perhaps less tormented? less bound up in wires? perhaps we need another mode of communication? perhaps the modes break down into a peaceful embrace? perhaps we relied on pain to drive us and as it diminished the push we counted on diminished as well? there is a clear thinking even in this worsened state, as perhaps there ever was; very strange, to see that beneath all this anarchy, all this lust for abomination, there is still a breath beneath the shout.  
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11:15pm 29/04/2008
  the great gray monster has fallen and all that fed it have died
we slink toward another drink in the corners where the words sprouted
no sense in cutting our roots away		  
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10:53pm 29/04/2008
  what jazz is this?
not taking back words?
not quite as as you'd mentioned.
are we just playing in this new space?
are we uplifted?
are we bored with some new convention or are we just full with thoughts of puppies?
and again the jazz plays,
and foot in front of foot we feel the blow in each step,
and we feel the value in each blow and blister.
we are not computers like you.
we do crazy things.
only stripped of our clothes,
only skin against skin do we shine.		  
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01:11am 11/01/2008
  would you listen,
if i asked you to?
without adding anything,
or taking anything away?

my turnoffs are moods;
and cravings for individuality.
my wit is shallow but my soul is deep.		  
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12:43am 11/01/2008
  my most subtle breath
the veins in my hands
and the sand on my toes
have all become symbols		  
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12:31am 11/01/2008
  my nose bleeds
red ribbons across my cheek
i'm looking out the skylight
the moon and stars bob and twirl		  
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12:22am 11/01/2008
  our mirror is horribly flawed
i cannot abide all these tiny distortions
that tear me away from you		  
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12:17am 11/01/2008
  our ears are so hungry for noise
we repeat in our head the sonnets we've heard before
our mind is so sick from noise
we're caught scraping the mold from the ceiling that just returns later		  
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06:00am 23/07/2007
  my wracked blissful body rejoices  
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12:54am 25/05/2007
  this year is so full of cancer
it is hard to bear being well
being so full of made-up, make-believe diseases		  
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12:43am 25/05/2007
  your footsteps are madness.
how can you walk without equilibrium?
aren't you as dizzy as me?		  
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quixotic_mouse
 
 
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